Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.