Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.

A small waist makes you tire easily.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.