Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.