Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.