[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.