[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.

When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

Laugh now, cry later.