Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.

You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.

Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.