Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.

I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say "nihilism?" You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

Try not to wake up on fire.