Love is like a card trick. After you know how it works, it's no fun any more.

Esther Williams? Wet, she's a star. Dry, she ain't.

Any woman who can’t say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful.

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown, and they only want you to make them laugh.

Love is like a card trick. After you know how it works, it's no fun any more.

I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!

Without love it is like having a good song without an audience.