Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

There is nothing wrong with "women's studies" that studying the right women can't cure, but feminist literary scholars have a penchant for dragging the rivers of deserved obscurity for third-rate neurotics.

Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the healing-power gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

The proliferation of support groups suggests to me that too many Americans are growing up in homes that do not contain a grandmoth.

Chinks in America's egalitarian armor are not hard to find. Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.

I don't mind being regarded as perverted and unnatural, but I would die if people thought I was a Democrat.