True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories.

He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.

because the theater lost a Barrymore every time a Southerner decided not to go on the stage, just about anything that comes out of a Southern mouth is bound to be a ringing line.

I've always said that next to Imperial China, the South is the best place in the world to be an old lady.

For men who want to flee Family Man America and never come back, there is a guaranteed solution: homosexuality is the new French Foreign Legion.

Keep dating and you will become so sick, so badly crippled, so deformed, so emotionally warped and mentally defective that you will marry anybody.

Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time.