Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.
Fran LebowitzUntil I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
Fran LebowitzThe good thing about being in someone else's apartment is it's so much easier to leave than it is to get someone out.
Fran LebowitzScience has done absolutely nothing about noise. The worst design flaw in the human body is that you can't close your ears. The reason you can't close your ears is, if a lion was coming, you had to wake up. Today no lions are coming. Beeping trucks are coming. I read the other day that the guy who invented the beep when trucks go backward, he died. I thought: Of course - he dies, I have to listen to it.
Fran Lebowitz