I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. [...] The other problem I have is fear of writing. The act of writing puts you in confrontation with yourself, which is why I think writers assiduously avoid writing. [...] Not writing is more of a psychological problem than a writing problem. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. [...] It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Especially when it goes on for years. It's much more relaxing actually to work.

I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.

People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this.

remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French.

Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.