It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.

[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell.

I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.

Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.

Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner.

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.