I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.

It's very important who the president of the United States is. America is a great idea, so that's why it's a great country.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.