Screenwriting is not an artform, it is a punishment from God.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature, I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.

The downfall of most diets is that they restrict your intake of food.

Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with strangers, deficient in irony - they have had no choice but to turn their attention to the close study of everyday objects.