When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitzif you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
Fran LebowitzWhen you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran LebowitzWriters have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
Fran LebowitzI have always preferred the company of older people. No one in the history of the world has had less interest in the young than I do. I am not interested in what young people are thinking. They're thinking less than old people, of course. I mean, what could they be thinking? And what are they doing? They're doing the same stupid things you did.
Fran LebowitzIn a print interview, as you may or may not know, they [editors] can do whatever they want. And they do. This is why most people are more hesitant to do print, because they can change it, and they do change it. They even change things that are in quotation marks, which is a pet peeve of mine. I've said to numerous reporters, "Would you read me back my direct quotes?" And they always say no. They always say that's against the policy.
Fran Lebowitz