I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.

It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.

My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.

When I started publishing, I got offers to write for big magazines. But I would always say, "Well, it's not that I don't want to write for these big magazines, but you can't edit it."

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Presently it appears that people are mainly concerned with being well rested. Those capable of uninterrupted sleep are much admired. Unconsciousness is in great demand. This is the day of the milligram. The rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the two go hand in hand. Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.