The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.

Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.

I'm sure that being sober all these years accounts for my ill humor.

American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.

Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it.