I'm very lazy, I hate to work.

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.

I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.

I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive - you are leaking.

Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.