Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.

The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And for whatever reason, they keep getting revived. They've come back four times. I wish we could let them die. They want to die. They were horrible then, they're horrible now.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.

Even if people aren't Republicans, it doesn't seem shocking to them that Ronald Reagan was the president. Well of course, because Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor! This is not only a bar too low, this is no bar at all. I don't care who you are, you know 20 people smarter than Ronald Reagan. You know 20 people who would be a better president than Ronald Reagan.

Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is; the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.