If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.

I've never had the experience of being edited and never will.

The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?

All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

What starts love is your ability to stupefy and blind yourself to the point of being able to fall in love. What stops it is waking up.

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.