Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.

Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.

I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.

Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.

What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No Jews! I don't know when I've had a better time. And no women! Just men! And no blacks! Just whites! White men! White men who are not Jewish! It doesn't get any better than this.' To some people, apparently, this is a perfect description of injustice. To me, this is a perfect description of a gay bar in Iceland.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.