The first step in having any successful war is getting people to fight it.

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.

Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn't have all these books. It's too expensive.

There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

I don't care if New York avoided bankruptcy by substituting tourism for the garment business.

If in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law.

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.