The first step in having any successful war is getting people to fight it.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.

I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.