China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.

I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Screenwriting is not an artform, it is a punishment from God.

Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.

I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.

I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.