Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.

Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.

No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.

The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?

It's very important who the president of the United States is. America is a great idea, so that's why it's a great country.

Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.

You're only as good as your last haircut.