A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.

I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When I was younger, I might have said six months, although I think the longest relationship I was ever in was three years.

Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature.

By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.