A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.

Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.

Screenwriting is not an artform, it is a punishment from God.

Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it.

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??