I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.

It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.

Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

What people don't know is: Clothes don't really fit you unless they're made for you. Especially when you wear men's clothes, like I do. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.

Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?

Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.