I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and ... it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.

[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.