A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran LebowitzVery few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran LebowitzMarriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran LebowitzAll God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz