There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.

Frenchman: Germans with good food.