That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires - smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge - are basically solitary pursuits.

If in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law.

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.

I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.

In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara.