If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature.

When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.

A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.

You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.