If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

You should make it hard on yourself to write so you’re easier to read.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

In conversation you can use timing, a look, an inflection. But on the page all you have is commas, dashes, the amount of syllables in a word. When I write, I read everything out loud to get the right rhythm.

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.

I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.