If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Your responsibility as a parent is never great as the case is with the mother.

I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.

Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it.

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.

I just can't smile at people for money.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.