You're only as good as your last haircut.

Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.

There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.

What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No Jews! I don't know when I've had a better time. And no women! Just men! And no blacks! Just whites! White men! White men who are not Jewish! It doesn't get any better than this.' To some people, apparently, this is a perfect description of injustice. To me, this is a perfect description of a gay bar in Iceland.

The good thing about being in someone else's apartment is it's so much easier to leave than it is to get someone out.

Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, "Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?"

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.