Presently it appears that people are mainly concerned with being well rested. Those capable of uninterrupted sleep are much admired. Unconsciousness is in great demand. This is the day of the milligram. The rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the two go hand in hand. Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.

I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.