All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.

There were a zillion bad jobs. That doesn't exist any more. I mean, I could wake up one afternoon with zero money and know that by the end of the day, I would have money.

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass.