You know what I would do? I would remake The Wizard of Oz with Robin Williams, and that's it. Just let him do the whole dang thing by himself.

I made the grandkids laugh. John Madden finally liked me!

Guy on the plane I'm on has a text alert that sounds like a gunshot... And he isn't putting it on vibrate.

I don't know if you can tell, but I grew up watching a lot of television.

Speaking of Quarterback nicknames, you hear they're calling Jay Cutler 50 cent? Because you only get two quarters out of him.

Here's a guy that when he puts his contacts in, he can see better.

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery - so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.