Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.

Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.

No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.

Gimme the tune. Do I like this tune? Does it sound like another tune that I like? The more familiar it is, the better I like it. Hear those three notes there? Those are the three notes I can sing along with. I like those notes very, very much. Give me a beat. Not a fancy one. Give me a GOOD BEAT -- something I can dance to. It has to go boom-bap, boom-boom-BAP. If it doesn't, I will hate it very, very much. Also, I want it right away -- and then, write me some more songs like that -- over and over and over again, because I'm really into music.