The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

You don't dig me, I don't understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered.

I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.

A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want.