Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?

There's a price you pay for drinking too much, for eating too much sugar, smoking too much marijuana, using too much cocaine, or even drinking too much water. All those things can mess you up, especially, drinking too much L.A. water ... or Love Canal for that matter. But, if people had a better idea of what moderation is really all about, then some of these problems would ... If you use too much of something, your body's just gonna go the "Huh? ... Duh!"

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it doesn't cause a murder.

Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.

The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity