The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.

I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.

The soul of our music, The Monkees' music, lies somewhere inbetween the 1 1/2 , the 2 1/2, the 3 3/4 and th giant C-major chord on the piano!

Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man -- and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is ''bad.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.

Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming... ...clouds of educated gnat-notes.