The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

How can I lose? I've already offended everybody!

I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.

I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set!

I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.