I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.

Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.

Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.

I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged. I've existed for years but very little has changed. I'm the tool of the government and industry too. For I'm destined to rule and regulate you. You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away. I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say. I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set.

You don't think I work 14 hours a day right now?! I mean, I still put in the hours, I still do the work.

Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?

I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed.