If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.
Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you get a big ovation while the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.
Nobody looks good bent over. Especially to pick up a check.
It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph.