I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't.

How can I lose? I've already offended everybody!

We pretend to be a free society, and we pretend to be an adult society, but if you look at the facts, our news is just as contrived, and controlled as Pravda!

You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain't what you're not. So see what you got?

She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy.

The ONLY thing that seems to band all nations together, is that their governments are universally bad.

Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.