Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can't be worse than the last one.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

Count the day won, when the earth, turning on its axis, imposes no additional taxes

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.

You do not know what you can miss before you try.

Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can't stop what it's meant to stop. We like it. It's left a trail of graft and slime It don't prohibit worth a dime It's filled our land with vice and crime, Nevertheless, we're for it.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.