I hate the pollyanna pest who says that all is for the best.

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can't be worse than the last one.

Accustomed as I am to public speaking, I know the futility of it.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.