Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

In the order named, these are the hardest to control - wine, women and song.

Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can't be worse than the last one.

The best bet you get is an even break.

Day after day, night after night, my life at home is far from bright, but even home has more variety, than I can find in cafe society.