To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!

Money isn't everything, but lack of money isn't anything.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

Too much truth is uncouth.