Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

Accustomed as I am to public speaking, I know the futility of it.

When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them

Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

If a man keeps his trap shut, the world will beat a path to his door.

There are hundreds who can stand failure to one who can stand success; the good loser is far more common than the good winner.