Count the day won, when the earth, turning on its axis, imposes no additional taxes

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!

Too much truth is uncouth.

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

As we see censorship it is a stupid giant traffic policeman answering "Yes" to "Am I my brother's copper?" He guards a one-way street and his semaphore has four signs, all marked "stop.