Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

There's been a lot of guys that come out of Texas who have made it really big. So it's not a geographic thing, it's a how hard are you willing to work for it.

Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues.

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time.

I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like "yeah he's a cute little kid" but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.